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Opinion

Our broken promises


Bangladeshpost
Published : 20 Apr 2021 08:15 PM | Updated : 23 Jun 2021 11:35 AM

Maisha Tasnim Oyshe 

Promises are made to be broken, and we seem to be doing exactly so.  We have forgotten our promise that we will create road safety for all. In 2018, students and children protesters had taken to the streets to bring light to the fact that elders are failing to carry out their responsibilities properly. 

It has been almost 3 years, but can we look at those teenagers' eyes and say that we didn't let their agony go in vain? We have rendered their efforts fruitless because we still break our traffic rules, make illegal U-turns, employ underage drivers and throw junk on the streets whether consciously or unconsciously. 

Whenever someone points out our filthy behavior, we point the finger squarely at our government. On the one hand, the government is developing policies for a "Clean and Green Bangladesh" while on the other hand, we do not even hesitate before violating laws. 

Besides road safety which is mostly associated with physical health, do we care about our mental health at all? Most of the Bengali parents frequently ask their child to perform Salah whenever their children try to talk about their depression. Naturally, prayer assists us to calm our heart and mind, but it is not a replacement for counselling/medication. If someone deals with mental health problems, a professional should be consulted anyway. Allah would not want our health to be overlooked. The World Health Organization (2020b) reported that approximately 7 million Bangladeshis suffer from depression and anxiety. 

Are we bothered by our apparent in-built racism and sexism in society? How far are we aware of our linguistic turpitude in society? On March 2, 2021, an acclaimed newspaper like Prothom Alo published an article titled “Kalo, Tobu Shundor”! This statement represents our entire country’s stance on racism. 

“You are too fat to get married,” or “you are too thin, you remind me of bamboo,” are not new phrases to us. People mock others by calling them bhotka (fatty), bosta (sack), and gaja khor (drug addict), destroying their confidence and self-esteem. These are words we hear so frequently that few of us think that there is nothing wrong with it. However, the point is that these dreadful words should never have been standardized.

The slang we use while swearing demonstrates our admiration for women. Almost all Bengali slang is based on females. According to Ain O Salish Kendra, a minimum of 975 cases were filed in Bangladesh between January and September 2020, with 208 of these being gang-raped. Victim blaming is currently in a state of flux. We cannot ignore the number of people who are concerned about the victim's appearance and the time/place where they were raped while lecturing about girls' limitations and the proper way to porda (covering up). 

Whether it was the viral video footage of a rural woman being sexually harassed by multiple men in Noakhali, or the recently most discussed Anushka rape-murder case, or any other rape-related news, they were too busy accusing victims and justifying rapists. On October 25, 2020, a 14-year-old girl died in DMCH from excessive genital bleeding after being raped by her 35-year-old husband. According to a nationwide survey which was organized by Brac James P grant school of Public health today,  the rate of Bangladeshi men of both city and county areas who have agreed that it is okay to hit their wives if they deny to have sex with them is 63 percent.

Our society, particularly men, is still reluctant to accept the existence of marital rape. Some of them even try to justify it by quoting a Hadith ayah from the Quran. One of them even wrote in the comments section of a well-known news website, "I'll have my wife whenever I want." We are nurturing and nourishing their inhumanity and toxic masculinity by providing a safe haven for them in  our culture and religion.

This toxic masculinity is the inevitable outcome of a patriarchal society. Society has taught male children that being emotional or crying is unmanly behavior, and that they must shoulder all of their wife's and family's responsibilities. When a man is abused, they pay less attention and instead mock him by questioning his manhood, based on our society's fragile masculinity. Tangia Zaman Methila and Samira Khan Mahi, both Bangladeshi models and actresses, admitted in 2018 to sexually and cyberbullying a man on Asif Bin Azad's show. Someone cannot simply get away with sexual harassment. 

They not only harassed someone, but also had the audacity to mock the entire situation in the name of "adventure." Our legal system has yet to take legal action against them in 2021. Not only that, but our society has named Tangia Zaman Methila "Miss Universe Bangladesh 2020." 

Miss Universe is one of the world's most prestigious beauty pageants, and Miss Universe Bangladesh has chosen to send an abuser to represent our country on the global stage. Despite her apology, how can a sexual abuser represent our entire country? Society first denied men’s emotional needs and then heaped all of the burdens on their shoulders. This patriarchal society forces men to give up their peace to please others.

We have established our norms but now we are strangled in our gender prejudice and cultural stereotypes. Is our conscience no longer alive? How long are we going to play dense and blind? When will we stop being self-centered and keep our promise to be concerned about our motherland and its people? Veronica A. Shoffstall said, “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” We are the one who have to play the role of hero.  We have to make our country a better and safer place. 


Maisha Tasnim Oyshe is a student at North South University