Actress and model Cara Delevingne contemplated ending her life as she first struggled with her sexuality.
The ‘Suicide Squad’ star, who identifies as pansexual, admits she was quite homophobic in her youth and grew up disgusted by the idea of having a lesbian lover. Cara Delevingne, who has dated rocker St. Vincent and fellow actress Ashley Benson, has opened up to Gwyneth Paltrow on her Goop podcast, revealing her conservative upbringing led to some dark moments after she realised she wasn’t straight.
“I grew up in an old fashioned household,” Cara Delevingne explains. “I didn’t know anyone who was gay. I did not know that was a thing and actually I think growing up I was quite not noticeably, I was not knowledgeable of the fact I was homophobic.
“The idea of being (with) same s*x (partners), I was disgusted by that, in myself. I was like, ‘Oh my God, I would never, and that’s disgusting, ugh’.
“I do correlate the massive depression and the suicidal moments of my life (to that) because I was so ashamed of ever being that. But actually that was the part of me that I love so much and accept.”
As a pansexual, Cara Delevingne refuses to limit her sexual choice by biological s*x, gender or gender identity, and she admits her sexuality is constantly changing.
“There is still a part of me where I’m like, ‘Oh, I wish I could just be straight’…,” she adds. “It is really complicated.” -People